Woman defended for refusing to babysit brother’s children after they ‘trashed’ her home

‘You are not these children’s parent,’ Reddit user says

Meredith Clark
New York
Tuesday 03 September 2024 01:12 EDT
Comments
Should you expect to be paid to babysit for your own family?

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

A woman has been defended online for refusing to babysit her brother’s children after they “trashed” her home.

In a viral post shared to the “Am I the A**hole” Reddit forum, a 32-year-old woman questioned whether she was in the wrong for refusing to look after her niece and nephews after they made a mess of her “nice, cozy home” that she had “worked really hard to maintain.”

The woman explained in the post, which has more than 6,000 upvotes, that her 34-year-old brother has three children aged 10, eight, and six. “A few months ago, he asked if they could stay at my place for the weekends because he and his wife needed a break,” she said. “I agreed, thinking it would be nice to bond with my nieces and nephew.”

(Getty Images)

However, she shared that the weekend “turned into a nightmare.”

“The kids went absolutely wild. They broke several things, including a vase that was a gift from my late grandmother, spilled juice on my white couch, and even scribbled on the walls with markers,” the woman said. “I tried to manage the situation, but whenever I told them to stop or try to set boundaries, they completely ignored me.”

When she informed her brother about the damage, he “laughed it off” and told his sister that “kids will be kids.” The Reddit user explained that her brother didn’t offer to help clean up her house or replace any of the broken items, adding that she was “really hurt but didn’t make a big deal out of it at the time.”

Most recently, her brother asked again if his children could stay over at her house for the weekend. The woman told him no, and explained that she didn’t want “to deal” with the mess again.

“He got really upset, saying I’m punishing his kids for being kids and that I’m being unfair,” she wrote. “Now my parents are involved, saying I should ‘be the bigger person’ and help out my brother. They say the kids are sorry and just want to spend time with their aunt. But I’m still traumatized by the last time they were here.”

The woman took to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong “for refusing to let them stay at my house again,” but she was immediately defended in the comments section.

“This is utterly ridiculous,” read the top comment under the post. “You are not these children’s parent, and they do not live in your home. You have no obligation to care for them except in an emergency. It’s perfectly reasonable and acceptable to say that you can’t handle having them in your home, particularly given your previous experience.”

The commenter suggested that her brother should pay her for babysitting his children, and that she could stay at her brother’s house for the weekend so the kids “are at home and can scribble on their own walls if they so choose.”

“No wonder the parents need a break. They created this mess and are stuck with it,” said someone else. “Worse, they’re as entitled as the kids because they refused to make right what was damaged.”

When several users questioned why her parents didn’t offer to babysit her brother’s children for the weekend, the woman explained in the comments section that it’s “frustrating that the responsibility fell entirely on me, and the lack of accountability from my brother and parents just adds to the stress.”

She continued: “It’s clear they’re not ready to face the consequences of their actions. It’s tough being in this position, having to set boundaries with both the kids and the parents, but I feel like it’s important to stand firm and show that there are real impacts when boundaries aren’t respected.”

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in