Amy Robach reflects on being ‘the breadwinner’ in relationships

Amy Robach has opened up about earning more than her partners in previous relationships.

The former ABC news reporter discussed the topic on the latest episode of her podcast, Amy & TJ Podcast, with her boyfriend TJ Holmes and matchmaker Thalia Ouimet. She admitted that she’s recently rediscovered her “feminine energy” through not being the “breadwinner” in a relationship any more.

“I’m understanding that a little bit more now than I ever have before in my life, but I was always on the other side of things. Always,” Robach told Ouimet about her past relationships and not embracing her femininity.

“I’m listening to you. I’m laughing because for the first time, I’m open to that part of me that I haven’t been before,” she told Ouimet. “I’ve always been like, no. I’m the doer. I’m the getter. I’m the maker. I’m the creator. I’m the breadwinner… and so it’s interesting about accepting and not just accepting, but embracing the other side of yourself in the right relationship.”

Holmes even added that when they were working together no one could see her more feminine side as he answered a question about if he was “turned off” by her “boss lady energy”.

“What is the thing I say to you all the time? You are such a sweetheart,” he told Robach. “I wish other people knew that. And really, she’s this tender, she’s sweet and that feminine energy maybe you speak of, but as a colleague and seeing her around the studio for so long, nobody has any clue about the person I know.”

During a previous episode of the couple’s podcast, Robach touched on the beginning of her relationship with Holmes when he wouldn’t let her pay for any of their dates.

“We had a lot of back and forth in the beginning and it was quite funny,” she admitted. “Because if I tried to pay for some of it or all of it, I got a Venmo back immediately with an extra $5 attached saying that was funny. Sometimes, you actually give me the middle finger emoji.”

Holmes said his reasoning for paying was because he had a very “traditional” view of dating where the man is supposed to be the one paying.

“We go to dinner, the man pays. That’s just it. From the moment I joined ABC News, you were already there. There’s not a moment, a day in our ABC careers that I made more money than you did.”

“But still, once we started dating, you didn’t pay for a meal,” he continued.

Robach also added during the podcast episode that this was a struggle for her to adjust to just because she does work and makes her own money, so it doesn’t feel necessary to let anyone pay for her.

“I also feel uncomfortable being a working woman who is able to take care of herself to not contribute when it comes to going out on dates and meals and all of that. So initially, when we first started dating, I felt really uncomfortable with you paying for everything on one hand.”

“On the other hand, I’m gonna be really honest here,” she added. “I liked it. There’s this thing about women, like, do we want to have this women’s lib thing where we’re independent and we can do everything ourselves, but there’s still something in me that really appreciated the fact that you wanted to pay for the bills. Actually not wanted to, you insisted on it at all costs. And there was something really, I thought, beautiful about that… you’re a gentleman.”