What Will Smith’s emotional outburst tells us about US politics

Age-old stereotypes about men and women say that women are the “fairer” sex, more delicate and, of course, more emotional. Much has been made over the past few decades about female hysteria (indeed somewhat of a tautology, considering the word “hysteria” – coming from the same root as “hysterectomy” – is already coded female) and female “overreactions”. Women’s emotions are the butt of jokes on comedy stages about “that time of the month” and in shows where father figures shake their heads in apparent confusion at their wives’ apparently unwarranted behaviours. But what’s actually crazy is how men have gotten away with this charade for so long.

Men benefit from the fact that society has collectively decided anger isn’t an emotion, and so when women cry they are seen as fragile and overemotional but when men get into fights outside pubs they’re seen as “boys being boys”. Perhaps because we never really address male aggression except to roll our eyes at it, grown men end up getting emotional in public far often than grown women. They are more likely to lose control and shout in the office or on the street, more likely to get involved in road-rage incidents, more likely to assault family members in the home, and more likely to physically break things when reacting to bad news. While women are told to go and cry in the toilets, men storming round a workplace or yelling in meetings are simply seen as de rigueur. If you’re frightened, upset or “triggered” by the man’s emotional reaction, that’s your problem; but a woman who cries publicly is seen as the problem herself, and other people’s discomfort natural.

Obviously, none of this applies to all men and women. Plenty of people buck stereotypes, and most of us are able to control our emotions. Equally, most of us have had moments where we have lost our cool in one way or another. But some people manage to do it far more often than others.

The reason I’m interested in male and female emotional reactions this week is because of the moment everyone else is talking about: Will Smith storming onto the Oscars stage to slap comedian Chris Rock round the face. Smith appeared to lose control after hearing a (relatively tame, though mean-spirited) joke about his wife Jada’s hair (Jada Pinkett Smith suffers with alopecia, and wears a buzzcut style because of it. Chris Rock suggested she should therefore star in “GI Jane 2”, a sequel he made up for comedic effect.) After assaulting Rock, Smith returned to his seat and yelled twice that Rock should “keep my wife’s name out of your f***king mouth”. It was, in Rock’s own words, some of the best television ever to come out of the Academy Awards.

It didn’t end there, either. Smith came up onstage a second time only a few minutes later to collect his award for Best Actor in a biopic about Serena and Venus Williams’ father, Richard. Tearfully, he apologized for what he’d done and compared it to the character he acted as, adding that he only did it because of “God” and “love” and a protective instinct toward his family. He added that Denzel Washington had warned him that at your highest peak, you have to beware of “the devil”.

Like Lindsey Graham winding himself up during a rant about lefties and Guantanamo Bay last week during the confirmation hearings for Biden’s new Supreme Court pick Ketanji Brown Jackson, some in the room at the Academy Awards seemed confused about whether Will Smith’s was manufactured outrage. Had he done it for the cameras? Was it a publicity stunt? Was it a coordinated joke? As the realisation that Rock definitely wasn’t in on any kind of jokey stunt set in among everyone present, the actors buttoned up. At the after-parties, reporter Hadley Freeman wrote that everyone brought a PR and no one would discuss the already infamous slap. But most seemed to agree that it was a shock.

In the political sphere, few will have been shocked by Graham’s performance – or indeed the performance of Ted Cruz, who repeatedly asked Jackson aggressive questions and then wouldn’t give her time to answer. Those, it seems, were made for the social media clout. Cruz was spotted checking his Twitter mentions on his phone minutes after wrapping up his performative tantrum.

The world may feel a little upside down when the acting is being done among senators and the outbursts of genuine (and problematic) emotion are seen onstage at the Oscars. But in a post-Trump world, that’s become par for the course.