Rupert Everett is still the undisputed master of the politically incorrect putdown

Thank goodness for Rupert Everett in these grim times. The actor has a hilarious new memoir (his third) out this week, To the End of the World, chronicling the 12-year struggle to film his script based on the final chapter in the life of Oscar Wilde.

Rupert not only wrote the movie, he took the roles of leading man and director and when money ran out halfway through shooting, he was forced to ask one of his co-stars, Colin Firth, to hand his wages back.

Everett is still the undisputed master of the politically incorrect putdown. Interviewing him this week, I asked if he regretted calling Madonna a “whiny old barmaid” – he said he did not, but then added, “actually Janet, you have a touch of the whiney old barmaid about you”… then continuing hastily, “but you are very beautiful”.

I forgive anyone whose nickname for Colin Firth is “Frothy”. According to Rupert, when they met filming Another Country, “I fancied Colin – and then I loathed him, I was a monster, quite horrible… but we’re friends now.” I dread to think what Mr Everett has written about me and our on-off feuds in his diaries – luckily, I shall be beyond caring by the time he gets to volume five.