Labour has had a good few months and now is the time for supporters to put their differences aside

The Labour Party has had lots of really good news lately. Its national polling lead has grown and seems stable against an imploding Tory party. Recent polling by the Fabian Society and YouGov show them even further ahead in their target seats in England and Wales. There’s work to do, but also real cause for optimism and positivity.

This is a great place for Keir Starmer and his party to be at, going into the new year. But you might not know it from the behaviour of some of his most ardent supporters, especially on social media. They seem determine to remain angry – if not gloomy – playing out the fights of the Jeremy Corbyn years internally rather than playing a bigger part in building a positive, self-confident and united party.

I had a conversation recently with a young activist who joined under Corbyn. She feels angry, disillusioned and hurt at what happened to her and her friends, and said she sees no incentive for people of her politics to “come together” with others in Labour.

I get that. Her entire experience of the party has been of people telling her how wrong she was when her politics was in the ascendency. She still gets that now, even as she is also told to buckle under and work collectively for the good of the party.

I was no supporter of Corbyn, and was increasingly angry and frustrated by the behaviour of some of his supporters. But those days are gone. These are not the people with authority any more, and as power dynamics change, so too should our understanding of our own and each other’s behaviour.

The chat I had with the Corbynite was mirrored by a conversation I witnessed on Twitter between two moderates. One was asking the other why he spent his time seeking out Corbyn supporters to pick fights with and genuinely why he thought this was useful to his causes or a productive use of time.

The one asking was former Labour press officer Tim Carter, who wrote an interesting and thoughtful blog off the back of it. In it, he talks of a moderate Labour member chastising him for being grumpy about this kind of behaviour from his own side. This member had also joined under Corbyn, to fight for his moderate vision. Like my friend, he too had never known anything else and didn’t know that it could be, should be – and usually had been – different.

Both this moderate and my Corbynite friend are passionate, clever, interesting and good people, with so much to give to the Labour Party. Both should have a place in the discussion and a comfortable, happier way of being involved.

There are many good reasons why Labour’s dominant moderates (and soft lefties like me – I am immune neither from poor behaviour nor from criticism) should be better behaved than they are now. This does not mean not criticising where is it needed. Nor does it mean not implementing much-needed discipline when it comes to unacceptable behaviour. But it does mean self-reflection and discipline can offer political rewards that infighting cannot.

If they model a politics that is more interesting, discursive and inclusive, they become a more attractive option. While the dopamine hits you get from scoring points on social media can feel great, they wear off. There are longer-term rewards to be had in attracting people to your vision and politics, and forging alliances to make genuine and lasting changes.

It is also in any dominant faction’s long-term interests. If the story of the Labour Party from power to opposition and hopefully soon back again has taught us anything, it is that no faction will ever maintain permanent power. It is therefore in all of our interests to behave while in charge as we would wish others to behave to us when they are.

It will be up to those currently in charge and on top to change the culture throughout the party. Not by demanding it from others, but by showing respect to their internal opponents and finding a way to talk to each other better.