Fashion in this country is dead – we all gave up after Brexit

Fashion in this country is dead. It kind of gave up a few years ago, and I have no idea any more what the truly cool are wearing.

Occasionally I will see men and women on the street, and they look amazing, but their style isn’t definable – they are just good at putting things together. They also tend to be young and gorgeous, and possibly a hat is involved.

Less often, I will see someone older doing the same thing: there’s a boldness going on, a zap of colour, a cool pair of glasses and an interesting shoe. “Good work,” I mutter as I pass. Once in a while I will clap an outfit.

I have loved fashion for as long as I can remember, but I’ve never been particularly good at it – and back when I thought it was important, I frequently didn’t feel like the right shape.

I remember when I was 14, and hotpants were all the rage, I was very conscious that my knees (inherited from my father) were like massive bulbous turnips – whereas some of my friends had delicious, neat, hot-pant-friendly knees. At the time, I was frequently tripping over in a pair of very trendy yellow patent clogs, and consequently my big old knees were often very scabby. It was a tricky look to pull off.

Hot pants aside, the Seventies are easy to describe in fashion terms: it was all about the big collar, the puff-sleeved blouse, the maxi skirt with the frill around the hem, the suede fringed belts and jackets, the cheesecloth shirts, and massive flares. Then along came punk, and suddenly it was all tartan, rubber and safety pins.

Equally, the Eighties and Nineties had their own looks – the Eighties, when it wasn’t being all army surplus and massive grandad coats, was big on shoulder pads and power dressing. Women were working nine ’til five and had the heels to prove it – whereas for the Nineties, just think the Spice Girls and cargo trousers.

Looking back, things started to get muddy in the new millennium, though I do recall a lot of flat midriff and new boob showing off. This was the time of the Juicy Couture velour tracksuit and “WAG” culture. But since then, fashion seems to have lost its way.

Obviously, some people will be rolling their eyeballs reading this and thinking, “Yeah, what do you know, grandma?”

But even though I might have found myself sliding into middle-aged dumpiness, I’m still interested in fashion – and I still want to know what’s going on. Thankfully, one of the great things about modern fashion is that we have finally weaned ourselves off the notion that only the very young and thin can be fashionable. Age and size are not part of the fashion deal any more – in fact, one of the very few silver linings of today’s world of fashion is that you are allowed to be whatever shape you like. “Heroin chic” is a thing of the past – and good riddance.

That said, I’m rarely seeing anything very exciting out on the street. People seem to have adopted a “Covid uniform”. We all got lazy in lockdown, so there are a great deal of leggings and baggy jumpers going on. Everyone looks like they’re dressed for stopping indoors and watching a box set.

I’m all for comfort – the biggest “hoorah” in fashion for me, personally, has been the demise of the stiletto. Who wants shoes that you can’t run away in? Stupid shoes belong to an age when men dictated what was sexy, and women suffered the corns and consequences. Whenever I see very high heels now, I just think “Silly”, especially when they are worn with bikinis on programmes like Love Island.

Clothing seems to have become tribal recently. There are no big trends, unless you count boiler suits and dungarees (which I do; I have two pairs of dungarees and one jumpsuit that is currently bursting at the seams). Oh yes, and then there’s the “shacket” – which is a cross between a shirt and a jacket (one of those daft ideas that means you are destined to be either too hot or too cold).

Once upon a time, fashion was easy to follow – now it’s a great deal more fragmented. These days, it is influenced by music and YouTube videos and TikTok, and somewhere along the way, I seem to have gotten lost.

I think I’m meant to go to Marks and Spencer and be grateful to find something that fits my bulgy size-14 body, but it’s so boring! Marks is all at sea when it comes to fashion, although every now and then they throw up something marvellous and everyone goes mad for it, and the next thing you know, every other person on the street is wearing it (see also the Zara spotted buffet dress back in the summer of 2019).

Fashion seems to have stagnated very badly since Brexit, and in some respects it’s not surprising – after all, fashion needs optimism and confidence to move forward (and funds), and right now we haven’t got any of those things.

People are dressing to suit the current mood, instead. No wonder this season’s trend is “tired and depressed”.