Diplomatic gift-giving is a banal nightmare – it’s time to freshen the practice up

What can be more revelatory than the exchange of gifts between high powered dignitaries? Even though you can never be sure what it’s actually trying to reveal. Boris Johnson has paid his first visit to the White House and has taken with him a copy of British astronaut Tim Peak’s book, Hello, Is This Planet Earth? – one hopes it was hardback.

The gift was designed to underline the shared ambition to tackle the climate crisis – and in return, Joe Biden gave the PM a framed photo of them together at Carbis Bay, taken earlier in the year at the G7. It’s a bit of a step down from the custom made bike he turned up with last time. Does this signify a cooling in the relationship? Or perhaps it’s just the pain of protocol having to reign in the gift giving after the first one? One thing’s for certain, a book is better than a framed photo.

Behind the scenes, stretched aides are usually racing around last-minute to find suitable gifts, some thought through – some not. Previous advisers recall that no matter how long in the planning the gift was always a last-minute rush! Another recounts how the most thoughtful gifts could also be reciprocated with the most banal item possible. Clearly, this gift giving lark is a bit of a pain. It’s not like you know anyone intimately or even have enough of a relationship to decipher the perfect present.

Theresa May’s tenure saw a Scottish double-handled quaich cup being handed over to Donald Trump to reflect his Scottish ancestry and a very thoughtful basket of home produce from Chequers for the first lady. Perhaps gifts say something more about the giver? These ones were totally on-brand for the conscientious May, a subtle political message tying Trump closer to the British isles and something for Melania which is a touch 1970s but conforms to the style and protocol of these things. Who can be sure which person actually consumed the damson jam in the hamper – but it’s probably unlikely to have been the first lady.

The UK government generally is rather bad at giving gifts. There is always some kind of price limit which means the extent of your giving is contained within the high-end items at the House of Commons gift shop. I'm sure there is many a Chinese dignitary with the portcullis cufflinks – with the even luckier ones nabbing a matching green tie.

I had once suggested our role in showcasing brand Britain might mean we have to take some genuinely nice gifts abroad, perhaps something luxury like a Burberry wallet? I had heard people liked that sort of thing. But it was shot down with some spurious claim that we’d be favouring one British brand over another or that it was too showy or that we’d have to pay full price for it… In any case, we had a store cupboard full of the cufflinks to get through.

Even when we tried to do something special, but on the cheap, it always somehow felt a little off. On an official visit to Pakistan to meet the new prime minister, Imran Khan, monumental efforts had gone into getting the England cricket team to sign a bat we could present. The private secretary clung to it as if he were protecting a relic and looked teary as he was forced to hand it over. It was received graciously but dispassionately and no doubt was thrown on a pile of other unoriginal cricket-themed gifts.

Receiving gifts is also a nightmare! Anything above the cost of £125 has to be surrendered or, if you want to keep it, then you personally pay the difference. Then there’s the challenge of what to do with others, like the dolls gifted by a visiting Turkish minister that were in the office and never claimed. They went on a tour of people’s drawers and desks for a few months before being boxed away for all time.

Perhaps the problem is that diplomatic gifts don’t say enough? Some subtle coded messages, Byzantine style, is probably the type of diplomatic breakthrough we’ve been hoping for! Let’s hope that gift giving becomes a little more strategic in the near future.

Salma Shah was special adviser to Sajid Javid from 2018 to 2019. She was also a special adviser at the Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport