The end of the school holidays is nigh – and not a moment too soon

The early days of the school holidays hold such joyful possibilities. After a long term, parents will say sagely, everyone is ready for a good rest. The kids are overworked and overtired; squabbling with their mates and getting tearful at the breakfast table. The holidays will give them a chance to recharge their batteries.

The children, for their part, couldn’t agree more. There will be lie-ins, maybe a day trip and a meal out, visits to the grandparents’ house (where usual rules go out of the window) and perhaps a week away to somewhere exciting.

At the start of this summer’s school break, we made a schedule for the six weeks ahead and pinned it with magnets to the fridge. What fun we would all have together: our happy and harmonious family, each of us looking forward to enjoying the others’ company, without rancour or bickering. Fat chance.

On Monday, it’s the beginning of a new term, and not a moment too soon. My son, having impressed everyone with a 27-mile cycle ride in the Peak District a fortnight or so ago, subsequently rewarded himself with so much FIFA and YouTube, that he has fallen into the 8-year-old’s equivalent of the Slough of Despond.

He wakes up early, desperate to find a screen, twitches for a bit when the Xbox controller is taken out of his hands, then drifts into an angry slump for the rest of the day, occasionally muttering “your face!” in response to our attempts at conversation.

So extreme has his crash been that on Thursday he practically wept when he discovered that someone else had eaten the blackberries which he assumed might not have been touched since I picked them three days earlier.

My daughter, on the other hand, has been living the dream recently, having had a week of pony riding lessons, followed by a few days staying with a friend, miles from home. We receive occasional texts, mainly to let us know an earring has broken.

She has the advantage of three extra days of holiday this coming week, much to my son’s dismay. Even so, there seems to have been almost no homework completed over the last six weeks, aside from some vague references to science revision, and a random piece of artwork. With year 9 beckoning, and GCSE choices to be made, she will either have a frantic holiday finale, or trouble on the horizon. Bring back school structure, all is forgiven!

Whether my children recognise how much they need the summer vacation to end is a different matter. But for us – like thousands of other working parents across the land – there can be no such uncertainty.

The holiday juggle has reached its zenith in this final fortnight, as we have ferried children to activity clubs, called in favours from friends, landed on grandparents, dashed from meetings to football camp pick-ups and from horse-riding lessons to Zoom calls. Dealing with window fitters as they installed double-glazing in our house was the icing on the teetering, multi-layered cake.

I talk to other parents who are trying to balance childcare and work requirements and they all have a hollow look in their eyes. We might all love our kids; but really, it’s better for all concerned when they spend most of the day with their teachers, who are probably less likely to be told to “go away” when they make a reasonable request, or to have “fat or fit” chanted at them when they walk slowly to collect an errant ball.

There is, as in all things, a modest danger that the grass may not be greener on the other side. After all, the various things that have been on pause since July are about to kick in again: school drop-offs and pick-ups; swimming lessons and football clubs; parents’ evenings and class trips.

I’ll take it all for now but come December I may be counting down the days to the Christmas break.