Being an ‘early riser’ is the latest form of celebrity one-upmanship

For high achievers, early rising has become a badge of honour – it’s the latest bit of one-upmanship. Actor Jeff Goldblum is busy promoting his new album and is visiting the UK to play the piano at the British Legion’s Festival of Remembrance concert this weekend. In interviews, Goldblum seems a nice man, if somewhat obsessive. He delights in wearing eye-catching outfits and even travels with a personal stylist – now that’s an ambition I can aspire to.

Though where we part company is over Goldblum’s ludicrous “time management”. At home in California – where he has two small children with his (much younger) wife – he claims to get out of bed at 5am! According to him, he uses the early start to do some writing, read his latest script, work out in the home gym and play the piano. Finally, he wakes the children and takes them to school. Wow! All that activity before 8am…

I, on the other hand, hate early mornings after decades of filming in cold weather, standing in fields trying to sound motivated at 8am when my face looks like a cross pug with rain drizzling on my hair. Nowadays I need to attend a production meeting by 8.45am – a task achieved just twice in four years – so I can’t cope with productive early risers like Goldblum, who I suspect has a couple of hours sleep every afternoon while his wife looks after the children.

Here’s my basic routine, for fellow slackers: lay out clothes the night before (restrict choice by choosing the ones you are wearing because it’s easier). Prep breakfast: stand mug by the kettle and put rucksack by the front door. Prep food: put packet of muesli on kitchen counter. Set the alarm, (mine’s at 6.30am), then get up and feel absolutely ancient. Drink hot water, eat fruit, pick up rucksack and start walking down the street.

You’ll still be late, of course, but at least you won’t be a smug renaissance person like Mr Goldblum.