Christmas can be difficult if you’re not feeling festive

Grief, divorce, loneliness – there are many reasons why this is not the most wonderful time of year, says Victoria Richards

Sunday 25 December 2022 16:30 EST

Many people are just doing what they can to get through the next few days (AP)

Christmas can be magical, romantic, wholesome, fulfilling and heartwarming – but it can also be hard, painful and full of grief.

At this time of year, more than any other, we are likely all remembering loved ones we’ve lost; or those we wish we could be with but are separated from: either by distance, by death, by divorce, by rupture or family estrangement. My heart goes out to you.

It can be very difficult if you’re not feeling full of festive spirit – the pressure to perform and to “put on a brave face” for those around you can be a strain that goes above and beyond the usual trepidation you might feel when you get a bunch of relatives together who share different views and political ideals. Discussion around the Christmas dinner table can be a testing, even toxic affair. Just try mentioning Brexit and you’re likely to experience a tremor of division.

For me, there’s a pain in Christmas this year that I won’t be celebrating with my two young children. They’re with family, far away in a different city. The peculiar grief of not being with your kids at Christmas to see them open presents and squabble in front of Santa Claus: The Movie is hard and unwelcome. But I know I’m lucky, still – some people won’t be seeing their young relatives at all; we only need to look at the displaced families experiencing the fallout from the war in Ukraine to remember that.

For others, it might be recalling a bereavement experienced from the Covid pandemic. It’s almost too easy to forget that little more than a year ago, we were still in lockdown.