The not so subtle art of bamboo massage

Which of us hasn’t heard or said the rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”? And which of us who has ever been to school or had a job or, indeed, ever met another human being doesn’t know that’s categorically untrue? Words can be hurtful indeed, while it turns out those nasty sticks and stones can cure all manner of ills. At least when used in the context of a spa treatment. Hot stone massages are commonplace but stones are the Nineties massage tool. Sticks are the new(ish) thing. Bamboo sticks to be precise.

The history of bamboo massage is unclear. It seems like it should be an ancient technique. The Chinese have been cultivating bamboo for more than 7000 years, for use as food, as a building material and as something to write with and on. Surely they’ve used it for rolling out stiff muscles? Other sources suggest that bamboo has long been used as a massage tool in Ayurvedic medicine. There’s also a rumour that it began when someone saw two monkeys rubbing each other with shoots.

But the technique was actually patented in 2004 by Nathalie Cecilia, an American massage therapist, who came up with the idea of using bamboo sticks for deep tissue massage to save the strain on her fingers and wrists.

So there’s the advantage for the therapist. Less risk of RSI. What about the person on the bench? The touted benefits of bamboo massage are numerous. It can deliver the same results as manual massage in a shorter time. It offers improved circulation, deeper relaxation and reduced muscle tension. One optimistic practitioner even suggests that bamboo massage can aid weight loss by “breaking down fat cells”. Though you’ll need at least four treatments for that though.

But why bamboo rather than any other kind of stick? Well, it’s all down to the crystalline properties of the outer cell wall of the bamboo stem, which is rich in silica. When the bamboo is used in a warm massage, the silica gives off two kinds of electricity: pyroelectricity, which is generated by heat, and piezoelectricity, which is generated by pressure. Piezoelectricity, in particular, has some interesting applications. In piezosurgery, piezoelectric waves are used to cut bone without damaging neighbouring tissue. Meanwhile, the scientific community is working hard to create effective piezoelectric pavements that will generate energy as people walk across them. I could find no explanation as to why piezoelectricity might be good in a massage but it certainly is a real thing.

Suffice to say, bamboo massage has its fans and a sea day in the Lotus Spa on the Crown Princess between Edinburgh and Le Havre seemed like the perfect moment to find out what all the fuss is about.

“Christine, don’t look so nervous,” she said. Then, as we walked to the therapy room, “I’m not going to be whacking you with sticks.” Still, the lengths of bamboo she would be using were discreetly hidden beneath a heated towel. I asked to see them. Grace coyly unwrapped the bundle. Inside were what looked like five enormous rolling pins. She picked up the largest, which was the length and thickness of a human femur (bone is another piezoelectric material, FYI).

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“This is the full monty,” said Grace. There was a “half monty” too. I thought she was joking but upon googling bamboo massage later that day, I discovered she was actually using the “technical” terms. As well as the full and half monty, which are used on the legs and back, there’s a “middle man” for the neck and a “slim jim” for the arms. There are also “half pints” and “shorties” for feet and fingers.

For me, getting a massage involves a great degree of trust. Getting a massage with implements, even more so. When hot stone massages were first a thing, I was given a voucher for one as a birthday gift. I ended up with a knot in my neck and stone shaped scorch marks on my buttocks. Turned out it was the therapist’s first time as well. Of course, I still sent a thank you note but since then I’ve largely avoided being massaged at all. So yes, Grace, I probably was looking nervous.

Grace stepped out of the room so I could take off my gown and get beneath the sheet. Laying on my front with my face in a towel wrapped doughnut ring, I had a sudden panic about the state of my feet. Grace assured me she’d seen worse as she got to work with the full monty, using it just like the rolling pin it resembled. There were certainly moments when I felt like pastry. There were also moments when the pressure of the bamboo on my muscles hurt so much I thought I might have to swear. Grace alternated the rolling with the usual deep tissue massage techniques.

To take my mind off what I trusted was good pain as she expertly crushed my knots, Grace told me her story. She’d been working for Princess Cruises for seven years and had been on the Crown Princess for almost nine months. This cruise around the British Isles was the last trip before the ship crossed the Atlantic to begin its winter season in the Caribbean and Grace flew home for a well-earned break. We chatted about her favourite ports. “Alaska. The bald eagles just sit on the telephone wires like pigeons and bears walk across the street right in front of you. And Bora Bora, where you can swim with the sharks.” Grace liked her apex predators. She also claimed to have a soft-spot for Southampton. My family lives nearby.

“The seagulls can get quite nasty,” I said.

By now, Grace was using the “shorties” to massage my hands. The agony I’d felt as she flattened out my tight shoulder muscles was long forgotten. I was sad when she clinked a finger bell to declare the treatment over. Getting back to my stateroom (don’t call it a cabin), I stood on the balcony just looking at the sea and felt everything I was supposed to. Looser. Relaxed. Piezoelectrified. I then made the most of the biggest advantage a mini-cruise has over a classic health-spa break: the food. While you can absolutely eat healthily on the Crown Princess, I racked up 1000 steps (OK. Maybe 300) walking to the top deck for a slice of freshly-made pizza and two scoops of full-fat ice-cream from the on-board ice-cream parlour Gelato.

It seems to me that a good massage has a great deal in common with how I’ve always imagined the process of giving birth. You go into it with a little trepidation but excited about the end result. Ten minutes in, you wonder if it’s too late to ask for drugs. At the mid-way point, you think you won’t survive the next half hour. Five minutes after it’s over, you feel absolutely fantastic. The advantage of a deep tissue massage with bamboo has over having a baby is that afterwards you’ll get a really good night’s sleep.

As the Crown Princess sailed on through the night towards France, an extraordinarily comfortable bed (developed with input from sleep expert Dr Michael Breus) and the gentle rocking of the waves ensured that’s exactly what I got.

I travelled from Edinburgh to Southampton via Le Havre courtesy of Princess Cruises as part of the Crown Princess’s Round Britain itinerary.