How to have a great day at work: Reset your team psychology

Hell is other people, so the famous saying goes, which is why it isn’t surprising that while people join businesses for the organisation, they are most likely to leave because of the people.

Apparently, while 46 per cent of workplace stress is caused by work overload, 26 per cent is the result of juggling work-life balance and the other 28 per cent is down to poor working relationships which, at best, can cause low self-esteem and, at worst, anxiety and depression.

Feeling connected and cared about is crucial for our wellbeing and this applies on the work front as much as home.

While the corporate world is spending a lot of its time worrying about CSR (corporate social responsibility), research shows that when it comes to work wellbeing, the most important aspect is that employees feel like they are being treated as human beings and valued as individuals, rather than “assets” or “resources”.

I’m talking about simple, good relationships here. And it’s worth the effort for everyone, as 13.7 million working days are lost each year due to workplace stress, costing UK businesses £28m annually.  

Let’s focus first on managing upwards. Good relationships are key to feeling more in control, more satisfied and, ultimately, less stressed. With any relationship, even one with a big boss, it is actually just that, a relationship like any other – a two-way street that needs to be built on respect and trust. 

All the CEOs and leaders I know feel more comfortable and confident if they see people taking charge, while also being team players. So, be independent but also keep line managers informed (not going rogue). It’s always helpful to try to get into your boss’s shoes – viewing the world from their perspective can be as enlightening as it is informative. 

Ask these questions often: what is top-of-mind for them right now? What’s the definition of success for us both and what do they consider urgent versus non-urgent?

By doing this, you can quickly work out how they are seeing things and what levers to pull for true influence. Of course, you might have legitimate gripes and sometimes moods and behaviours will be out of your control which is another column entirely.

If it’s just a case of not loving your colleagues or managers, that doesn’t mean you still can’t have an effective and productive relationship. By asking a couple of rapport-building questions, you will quickly build a decent relationship. 

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It may be difficult to understand a boss completely but by acknowledging the constraints they may be facing, you will be able to guess better why they are making the choices they are making.

An unprompted cup of tea and a simple, “Hey, today must be a super stressful day,” can go a long way. They are human too. If those above you are kept happy, the feeling will cascade down. That’s the theory, anyway.

For those managing down, there are only two things people really want from a leader – a clear plan and a belief you can get there.

Individuals need to know their part in getting the results that are expected of them, so KPIs (key performance indicators) are crucial. If you haven’t got them, get them. If you are the one receiving them and don’t understand them, ask for some time to go through them. 

At whatever level you are, make sure you’re crystal clear about what you’re signing up for and at what point in the calendar you will sit down with stakeholders to see how you’re doing against targets. Do they need amending or resetting on the way? I like to do this quarterly but it certainly needs to happen annually. 

Performance is your currency to negotiate pay rises and promotions, and even to build on if and when you want to move on. It's also the fastest and easiest way to secure your own personal dopamine hit. When asking for something trickier – a month off, a three-day week, an internal move – it’s leverage for showing your value, proving your worth. That is crucial for your wellbeing and your company’s wellbeing alike.  

‘The Four Ways to Wellbeing: Better Sleep. Less Stress. More Energy. Mood Boost’ by Nicola Elliott is published by Penguin at £16.99