Reddit users don’t hold back over husband’s ‘problematic’ excuse for missing wedding anniversary

A man has sparked a debate after sharing his reasoning for missing both his wedding anniversary and his daughter’s birthday.

In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, the man explained that his sister was currently pregnant with her first child and was also in the process of divorcing her husband, the child’s father. Because she didn’t want him in the delivery room with her, she asked for her brother to support her through it.

“I of course said yes. She lives in a different state,  and I was going to go there for a week. But when I told my wife about it, she said that I would be missing my daughter’s birthday, and our wedding anniversary (they’re both a day apart),” he explained in his Reddit post.

According to the Reddit user, his plan was to FaceTime his daughter on his birthday, and then celebrate his wedding anniversary with his wife after returning from the trip - but his wife questioned why his sister chose not to call someone else.

Despite the argument, he attended the birth of his sister’s baby and immediately started making plans for his wedding anniversary. “My wife seems a bit sad about everything,” he wrote.

“I know it’s because I missed the anniversary, but I really don’t see what’s the big deal when we can celebrate it on another day. I understand my wife considers it a very important and special day. But it’s just a day, and it doesn’t mean anything in significance compared to the birth of my sister’s baby.”

After posting, many people were quick to weigh in, with many arguing that he was the person in the wrong for not turning his decision into one that he made alongside his wife, and instead making his decision without consulting her about it.

“Missing the birthday and anniversary are, in the grand scheme of things, only a little problematic,” one comment began.

“The reason [you’re the a**hole] is because you decided everything unilaterally, and that was a really s***y thing to do to your wife. You’re supposed to be partners. That means you owe your wife a discussion about it, before you make a commitment to your sister. You’ve just demonstrated to your wife that when something is important to you, any consideration for her or your kid goes out the window.”

“YTA, you made a unilateral decision that directly affected your wife and daughter with ZERO consideration for them,” another commenter agreed. “You essentially told both of them their feelings don’t matter as much as your sister’s.”

The Reddit poster went on to share an update after seeing the comments on his original Reddit post. He clarified that both of his parents and grandparents had passed away, so he was the only loved one his sister had. He added that he couldn’t randomly make the trip a family trip because they had already sent out invitations for his daughter’s sixth birthday party.

“I should have put more effort on our anniversary,” the update read. “I only called her and didn’t send her any gifts or flowers on our anniversary, and that’s my fault. I had a discussion with my wife a couple of hours ago, and I apologized for everything, and told her I would make up for it.”

“She actually seemed very happy after the discussion, I think it’s because I apologized and took accountability which admittedly I haven’t done recently. I reassured her that our anniversary is the day I will always cherish the most.”