Woman’s viral ‘happy divorce’ party sparks debate on taboo topic across South Asia

A viral video of a woman celebrating the end of her marriage with a party has sparked a debate on divorce among people from South Asian communities where the topic still carries stigma.

In the video she shared on her Instagram page, Shehrose Noor Mohammad, 32, is seen dancing happily to a Bollywood song at a “divorce party” presumably in the US, with balloons in the background spelling out “Divorce Mubarak (congratulations on your divorce)”.

The clip was reposted on a Facebook page called My Home Islamabad, with a majority of comments criticising Ms Mohammad for celebrating her divorce.

“Divorce should not be celebrated at all. Yes, it frees you from a toxic relationship. Yes, it liberates you from a narcissist. Yes, it is good for your mental health,” the admins of the page wrote.

“If we start celebrating divorce, people will be afraid to get married. Number of proud single mothers is already on the rise. Absent father for children is trauma,” they wrote.

“Many congratulations to the man who left her,” commented one user. “What a lucky guy who got rid of her,” wrote another.

Ms Mohammad, who won the Miss South Asia World 2024 pageant according to her Instagram bio, reportedly owns a store in the US and has never been to Pakistan.

She posted a series of stories on her Instagram in response to the criticism, calling out the culture of impunity that allows men to commit violence against women with little consequence.

“It is funny that this comment section is coming from men in a country that applauds killing their wives, sisters, and daughters in the name of Islam,” she wrote in response to comments by Pakistani users.

“You guys would literally rather see a woman miserable, get beat up, used, abused, tortured, all the things.”

The video was also posted on an Indian social media account on X, where many comments speculated on the alimony she received while some had concerns about the institution of marriage.

“Giving freedom to women was an absolute mistake,” said one user.

Another said, “The institution of marriage has lost all sanctity.”

Cultural attitudes toward divorce in South Asian countries such as India and Pakistan still come attached with stigma. While divorce is legally recognised in both countries, there is a strong emphasis on the concept of “honour” that often places the burden on women to uphold the appearance of an undivided family in front of society.

While younger generations are increasingly challenging patriarchal norms, dissolution of a marriage often leads to social ostracism for women.

The The United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) in Pakistan says, “A staggering 32 per cent of women have experienced physical violence in Pakistan and 40 per cent of ever-married women have suffered from spousal abuse at some point in their life”, adding that these numbers are under reported since one in two Pakistani women who face violence never seek help.

Honour killings in Pakistan are still frequently reported, according to local news reports. Human rights groups in Pakistan have said the majority of “honour killings” take place when a woman refuses to enter an arranged marriage or has been sexually assaulted, reported Pakistani news daily The Nation.

Data from the Human Rights Commission in Pakistan shows that there were 520 honour killings in 2022, of which 323 were women. In 2023, till June, there had been 215 deaths, of which 145 were women.

Sakina Muhammad Jan, an Afghan Hazara refugee who migrated to Victoria with her five children in 2013, became the first person jailed under Australia‘s forced marriage law for coercing her divorced daughter into a marriage that led to the 21-year-old’s murder.

Her 21-year-old daughter, Ruqia Haidari, had expressed a desire not to remarry until she was 27 or 28, wanting to pursue her education and career. But in her community’s eyes, she had lost her value due to the divorce, a court heard.

Despite the negative comments, Ms Mohammad also received support and solidarity from women.

“To see my girl Shehrose get bashed for finally getting a divorce after some bum a** dude took so much advantage of her and stole her money, then left to fend for herself and disappeared to another country,” posted one user on Instagram.

“This hits home for me, because people assume women are just divorcing left and right. Not seeing how these filthy, disgusting, abusive men who don’t protect nor provide nor do anything good for anyone but boost their ego and have hatred for women are the reason behind why women are choosing to divorce nowadays.”

Ms Mohammad said that she has moved past the backlash and hopes that her video encourages more women to come out of abusive marriages.

“I think thoughts of this kind can be changed if more people started celebrating getting out of negative situations, whether that is a relationship, a job or a marriage. This is a first of its kind and I did receive backlash, but I hope other people come out and participate in this kind of a movement,” she told The Print.

“More people need to come out and support things that are ‘out of the norm’ and know that it’s okay to move out of anything that’s not serving your higher self.”