YOUR STARS: IT COULD HAPPEN

Poppy Folly
Friday 04 June 1999 18:02 EDT
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Geminis work best in pairs, for obvious reasons, and are best- known as right pairs. No matter how clever, they operate on half a brain and can only achieve their destiny as twins. John Maynard Keynes would never have got the General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money to the West End had it not been for Cole Porter's hot rhythms and exuberant brass; Sir Francis Crick would only have discovered the left hand spiral of DNA; and Thomas Mann (that great teutonic pseud) would have been nothing without his moustache. When Geminis fail to find their collaborator, they end up like Margaret Drabble, whose expressive name combines the ineluctable elements of "drab" and "drivel" - Nathan Hale, for instance, failed as a patriot because he only had one life to give for his country, and James Ivory ended up in Merchant Ivory. As insiders know, Robert Maxwell did so well in publishing only because he had a Siamese twin hidden in his suit. But what is less well-known is that Prince and Tom Jones are not only astrological twins but the same person (who has ever seen them together?).

Geminis are not particularly talented, but because of their psychological divisions, they do have more resources at their disposal. Thus, they can be uniquely creative and humanity has benefited enormously from this sign's inventiveness. As a complex transvestite, Robert Stevenson invented the quick-change corset, Lorca discovered a new way of eating beef, Beau Brummel found there were over 800 distinct techniques for tying a single-ended bowtie, and Prince Philip has discovered there are infinite ways of embarrassing his wife when travelling as a cultural ambassador to Asia. The one thing common to everyone in this most peculiar sign is a lack of shame: William "My Lai" Calley went on to make a handsome living selling life insurance.

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