The TV shows you need to watch this week: From Top Gear to EastEnders

So, it’s back then. Top Gear. Not the Grand Tour, which is what Top Gear used to be. Actually Top Gear is still what it used to be, so it is more or less what the Grand Tour now is, which is to say not much to do with real motoring journalism. I know, I know; I’m just envious. True.

After a bit of Chris Evans-Jeremy Clarkson related tabloid hysteria (as if any of this mattered either way) the current foursome embark on a new series on Sunday evening, in the usual slot as BBC2’s flagship, with a repeat on the Tuesday.

Though fond of my cars, I’ve never understood the appeal of the show in its latter iterations, though I concede it remains (more or less) popular. Anyway, it’s the same mixture as before: car porn and some fairly pointless stunts in beautiful locations, expensively shot, and all garnished with some of the most stunning cliches ever conceived by journalistic man.

Matt LeBlanc and Chris Harris tool around Norway in Ferrari and Porsche respectively, while Rory Reid and Sabine Schmitz make do with a Suzuki Ignis and a Fiat Panda somewhere in Wales. They’re right about the Ignis, mind. Very good car. Five episodes for this run; Paddy McGuiness and Freddie Flintoff take over later in the year.

We’ve not had a proper Dutch cop (careful how you pronounce that) on the telly for a while. Since Van der Valk, (as played by the wonderful Barry Foster) finished in 1977/1992 (it was revived), the canals and herring markets of the Netherlands have been underrepresented in televisual crime. So now we have Julien Baptiste (Tcheky Karyo), formerly the investigator in The Missing, and now spun off into his own series. He’s living in Amsterdam, says he is not the man he used to be and goes off to solve the case of a missing sex worker. Proof, were it needed, that the world’s reserves of regional detectives are in danger of exhaustion, if we allow a little bit of recycling.

Talking of which, ITV presses on with Endeavour, its two-hour long Sunday night viewer muggings. Thus far it’s been an uneven affair – fine acting from Roger Allam (DI Fred Thursday) and Shaun Evans (the young Endeavour Morse), the usual luscious locations and atmospheric music, and time-traveller type attention to detail, but slightly compromised mysteries. This week, a car accident turns sinister, which, come to think of it, it did last week. Maybe a serial bad driver.

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EastEnders has been around since before a sizeable portion of the British population were born, so it is fair to say that the national grew up with it. Some may remember the 1980s characters Lofty and Punk Mary (Tom Watt and Linda Davidson), who went a bit quiet when they left the Square, around the time John Major became prime minster. Anyway, they pop in to Dr Legg’s funeral, and it would be nice to see a few other old faces from time to time, expect that some of the best have been killed off (eg Pat Butcher). I nominate Mehmet Osman (Haluk Bilginer), whose Ozcabs business would have gone bust and would now find himself ferrying more famous characters around as an Uber driver. Also Barry Evans (Shaun Williamson).

Previously scheduled for 31 January, Fred and Rose West: The Real Story with Trevor McDonald is at last aired, and you may recall the controversy that accompanied the earlier attempt at broadcast. It sounds like rather more than a routine run-through of the horrific crimes of the notorious serial killers. You’ll need a strong stomach.

One of television's more unusual experiments airs on Thursday evening. Sleeping with the Right isn’t quite as extreme as it sounds, and involves presenter Alice Levine spending a week with far-right activist Jack Sen. Mr Sen holds strong opinions, and you might not be surprised to learn he has written a book with the unexpectedly intriguing title How to Get Suspended from UKIP & the BNP in 10 Articles & 2 Tweets. Let’s just say he didn’t get suspended for going on about liberal values and the brotherhood of man. Doesn’t seem to have changed as a result of his encounter with Ms Levine, either.

Last, I should mention Mark Kermode’s Oscar Winners. Our most perceptive and knowledgeable living film critic turns his attention to past Oscar winners and losers, and, rightly, sets the whole palaver in something approaching a sound historical perspective. Thank goodness for our Mark, I need hardly add.

Top Gear (BBC2, Sunday 8pm); Baptiste (BBC1, Sunday 9pm); Endeavour (ITV, Sunday 8pm); EastEnders (BBC1, Tuesday 7.30pm); Fred and Rose West: The Real Story with Trevor McDonald (ITV, Thursday 9pm); Sleeping with the Right (Channel 4, Thursday 9pm); Mark Kermode’s Oscar Winners (BBC4, Thursday 9pm)