X Factor 2018 review: Simon Cowell's singing contest sticks to its old formula

The faces were different but the script remained the same as X Factor returned with three brand new judges. Robbie Williams, One Direction's Louis Tomlinson and actress Ayda Field (Williams's wife) were in for the departed Louis Walsh, Sharon Osbourne and Nicole Scherzinger, with perennial pop overlord Simon Cowell the only link to the show's glorious yesteryears.

Yet, somehow, the first episode of X Factor season 15 managed to feel precisely the same as every other X Factor series opener ever. There were sob stories – the shy teenager blossoming under the spotlight, the bearded chap rejected by Cowell a decade and a half previously and now knocking it out of the park – and power-house talents whose vocals troubled the rafters (Nineties dance diva Janice Robinson reduced Williams to tears of nostalgia). And there were pretentious weirdos – including a contestant dressed like a one-man Pet Shop Boys concert – whose delusions we were encouraged to laugh at.

Of the new panellists, Williams was the most immediately amiable. Even during the craziest peaks and troughs of his solo career, he's always come across as massively in on the joke regarding the absurdity of fame and that rootedness carried through here.

He got into the spirit, in particular, when a plumber from Macclesfield delivered a karaoke version of Williams's "Angels" (having already delivered, slightly stalker-ishly, flowers to Field and an old hat belonging to Robbie).

This was cheesier than a stall at a French farmer's market but, as a Saturday night feel-good moment, it was hard to quibble with its effectiveness. Robbie certainly wasn't arguing as, scary hat-from-the-past donned, he climbed on stage and mugged along with plumber Andy.

One Direction's Tomlinson lacked Robbie's live-wire charisma and didn't relish the put downs he was contractually obliged to deliver. “You're everything we tried to avoid with One Direction,” he glumly told rubbish boy band No Labels (someone should tell them that not having a label is a label) and looked even more upset informing ridiculous DJ Ross Alexander that his singing needed to match his bombastic entrance.

Field, for her part, laughed at her husband's jokes and gave plumber Andy the thumbs up on the basis that he'd duetted on her favourite song with her favourite man. In the promo video at the start of the episode, we were promised domestic sparks between these his 'n hers panellists – but on their opening night they got along fabulously (good for their marriage – terrible for us at home waiting for some pre-bedtime strife).

X Factor's ratings have been nose-diving over the past several years and the show no longer has it in its gift to mint a star overnight (can you name last year's winner? Can Simon Cowell?) The new line-up has promise and Williams, whether waving to Vladimir Putin from a football pitch in Moscow or duetting with a plumber from Macclesfield, is always watchable. Whether that's enough to restore the sparkle to an ailing franchise, only time – and ITV's viewership figures – will tell.