Newzoids, TV review: A forgettable start - but it was the same for Spitting Image

The kindest thing to be said in defence of Newzoids is that the first few editions of Spitting Image in the early 1980s were not funny either. It took false starts and much heart ache to turn that programme into the television classic that it became. Maybe, given time, talent and determination, the Newzoids team can turn out quality satire too.

But oh dear, what a forgettable start! There was an Ed Miliband sketch, built around the idea that Ed Miliband is a geek who cannot eat a bacon sandwich, and a David Cameron sketch in which the joke was that he is posh. There were some Royal Family sketches too, hinging on the notion that they too are posh. Yes, such was the level of creative originality that went into the script writing.

There was, to be fair, one decent gag before the break, when Barack Obama described himself as the only black American to have run twice without getting shot in the back by a police officer, though I do wonder if they are the first to have come up with that one. The second half also had a mildly amusing sketch in which Nick Clegg appeared on the Jeremy Kyle Show to complain that David Cameron had lured him into bed on false promises. And I liked the song in which Alex Salmond and Nicola Sturgeon sang Sod the English.

But a hard lesson the Spitting Image team had to absorb early is that puppets are not intrinsically funny. When a skillful mimic goes in front of the camera to mock a politician, he and she can use facial expressions, body language, pauses and double takes for comic effect. A puppet can only do the voice and the words, so after the initial shock of recognition, the sketch that follows has to be very short and very sharp - something better than to have the Queen say “I’ve been sitting on the throne” meaning… no, no, I can’t even be bothered to explain.