Nikki Glaser reveals 10 jokes she cut from her Golden Globes monologue
The stand-up comedian told Howard Stern that she’d trimmed gags from her speech for being ‘too mean’
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Your support makes all the difference.Nikki Glaser has revealed 10 jokes that she cut from her Golden Globes monologue for being “too mean.”
The 40-year-old stand up comic has earned widespread acclaim for her first stint hosting the awards ceremony.
On the Monday morning (January 6) following the ceremony, Glaser appeared on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM show to discuss her set.
After receiving some pushback on social media for a joke about Diddy, Glaser revealed she cut a second reference to Diddy: “This is the last time all of you will be the same room together until the Diddy trial.”
The comedian explained that she felt the joke she kept in about Diddy worked better, and also that it would be risky to accuse “people in the room of being involved in that... they might turn on you.”
Another joke cut was about the Vatican thriller Conclave: “It’s about the choosing a new pope. It was heartwarming. It will touch you so much that the church will have to move it to another theater. Hot tip: You don’t need ID to get into the Conclave after party.”
Glaser reasoned that “we don’t need more” jokes about the Catholic Church and pedophiles.
A third joke cut from the monologue would have seen Glaser follow up her reference to Adrien Brody as a “two-time Holocaust survivor” by saying: “If Adrien Brody could go back in time, he would thank baby Hitler for his career.”
Glaser said she removed the joke after her “Gen Z” assistant explained she didn’t get it, perhaps due to the reference to time travellers seeking to kill baby Hitler being dated.
A fourth joke cut referred to some Hollywood heavyweights: “Only Murders in the Building is amazing. I think it’s so cool that legends like Steve Martin, Martin Short and Meryl Streep are still at it. It just goes to show you that you’re never too old to still need money. Why are you still working so hard? What’s going on, did you get caught up in the Hawk Tuah crypto scheme?”
A fifth joke would have referenced accused murderer Luigi Mangione, but was cut as Glaser felt the story had faded from the headlines: “Glen Powell is nominated tonight for Hit Man. Who would have thought you’d only be the second-hottest hit man in America?”
Glaser also cut a reference to Dax Shepard’s popular Armchair Expert podcast: “The only show where you can see the biggest stars in movies and television join together with a common goal: Getting out here tonight before Dax Shepard asks them to do his podcast.”
A raunchy joke about Nicole Kidman’s Babygirl stayed in the set, but Glaser cut another that she feared was too mean: “The Wild Robot is nominated tonight — and by that I mean Nicole Kidman after two white wines.” Glaser explained: “I wish we could have done that, but if she makes a face…”
Glaser joked about Timothée Chalamet’s vocal performance as Bob Dylan in A Complete Unknown sounding suitably “horrible”, but cut a somewhat punchier version: “Timothée Chalamet took lessons in guitar, dialect, movement and vocals to become Bob Dylan. While Bob Dylan became Bob Dylan the old-fashioned way: heroin and autism.”
A ninth joke Glaser cut from her monologue would have referenced the death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins on the set of Rust, but was cut for being too dark: “Michael Keaton was so great in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. And Alec Baldwin sadly did not come back to play a ghost because he was too busy making them.”
Of that joke, Glaser clarified: “Please know that I know that was not nice. It’s such a great joke, but it’s just too mean.”
A tenth joke that didn’t make the cut would have referred to Ben Affleck’s former marriages to Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Garner, with Glaser joking: “Here’s Ben Affleck. I can’t wait to see which Jennifer you try to ruin next.”
Elsewhere in her interview with Stern, Glaser revealed that she had been paid less for the job than a previous male host.
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