Love Island 2021 review: Why do I hate the ‘Naughty Trio’?

After Sunday’s despondent national atmosphere, we needed Love Island to lift things up a bit. With a recoupling and that​ masticated food challenge, it did not disappoint.

As our Islanders lined up around the firepit, it was now the turn of our babe squad to have their fate sealed by the opposite sex. In the danger zone were Kaz, Sharon, Rachel and Faye, who after a rocky week found themselves boosted out of their respective couples by the “Naughty Trio”, a nickname so upsetting, it has the same physical effect as biting into ice cream when you’ve got sensitive teeth. I don’t know whether my hatred for the trio is down to what is happening on TV or is actually because of some deep-buried memories of high-school blondes teaming up together to rule the school. With Chloe now matched with Toby, Lucinda engaged to Brad and Millie in a psychosexual fling with Liam, it was up to new boy Teddy, as well as Aaron and Hugo, to cast the deciding votes.

Of the couples lined up for a potential dumping, it felt like Sharon was in the safest position. After being dumped by Aaron only a few days ago for reasons including shouting a little bit and “having a job”, Sharon had entered a peculiar realm of uncertainty in her relationship. Though definitely not-a-couple, this hadn’t stopped the twosome spooning at night or going for a small midnight kiss under the covers. Surely Aaron would keep her in? If not as a romantic partner, then as a friend whom you respectfully acknowledge has had their tongue inside your mouth. To everyone’s great disbelief (and a gasp in my living room), Aaron had other plans, opting instead for Kaz and leaving Sharon out cold, primed for an island dumping.

It is important to caveat this with the fact that I love Kaz. I am delighted she has been saved after carrying the entire series, one subtle eyeroll at a time. It did, however, mean that things were starting to get interesting, with only Hugo and bombshell Teddy left to pick their match. With the benefit of being an original Islander, Hugo opted for Sharon, marking them as one of two friendship couples in the villa. Like a cruel God, it was now up to Teddy to make the call between Rachel and Faye.

Let’s go over the options here. On their first date, it seemed that Rachel and Teddy were hitting it off. For me to accurately describe how they were hitting it off, I would have to use words that are simply not allowed to be printed in a national newspaper. On the other hand, Faye’s cool aloofness might have provided the tonic needed to cut through Rachel’s heavy-handed approach, denying Teddy any knowledge that she might actually fancy him.

It was a trick that worked, Teddy’s choice resulting in a crestfallen Rachel leaving the villa, strutting out with her head held high. Thank you, Rachel, for your horny candour – you shall be missed!

So, what next? It seems that we finally have some couples who actually like each other, with Jake and Liberty going from strength to strength, and Millie uttering the L word to a shocked (and unnerved) Liam. It also looks like we might be seeing some #emotionalgrowth from Faye, who gently wept into the warm embrace of the babe squad as she spoke of how difficult she finds it to let her guard down in a relationship. With the first public vote looming, which of our couples will be sent packing back to Heathrow? I’ve voted. Have you?