Travel: The muddle is at its most shambolic in Scotland, which has three schemes...

STARS, DIAMONDS and crowns: not a newly discovered galaxy, or the line-up at a Hollywood party, but the glittering debris of Britain's muddled attempts to classify places to stay.

Every other country with pretensions to a tourism industry uses a grading scheme to help guests decide which hotel might suit them best. The United Kingdom has a repertoire of conflicting rating systems for accommodation.

The muddle is at its most shambolic in Scotland, where this autumn there are no fewer than three official schemes in operation. Pick up the Autumn Gold brochure (free by calling 08705 511 511), and you learn that: "The new Scottish Tourist Board Star System is a world first." The reason: "Quality is what determines our star awards, not a checklist of facilities." The idea is that the service, hospitality, ambience, comfort and food are evaluated, rather than the provision of trouser presses or televisions.

That seems a perfectly valid strategy - but so far it applies only to relatively few properties, and arguably reflects a downgrading of the assessment system. Most properties are classified according to the previous system, which also assesses quality: "approved" is the lowest category and "deluxe" the highest.

In addition, one to five crowns are awarded for the range and extent of facilities. So the traveller to Edinburgh has to decode both systems in order to decide how the three-star Frederick House Hotel compares with the "commended three-crown" Glenora Hotel.

And if you're still not confused, you soon will be. Not content with imposing language and currency upon the Scots, the English are trying to ordain an entirely new and different grading system on the country.

Two years ago the AA and RAC teamed up with the English Tourist Board to launch a common system for rating hotels, bed and breakfasts, and guest houses. The idea was to replace three conflicting systems (a star award from each of the motoring organisations, plus the English Tourist Board's crown ratings) with a single grading scheme.

"I'm delighted that we have got the beginnings of a much simpler system. For the first time we will have one system common to all three countries," the new tourism minister tells me. Janet Anderson MP is primarily responsible for English tourism, since the Scottish Office and Welsh Office handle tourism within their borders. But she says she hopes that the ETB/AA/RAC scheme will spread across the frontiers.

"We have stars for hotels, and diamonds for other serviced accommodation, which is a much simpler system. And I think that as people become used to it, the tourist industry generally will want to take advantage of it, because, of course, it will be in their interests to make sure that people understand exactly the type of accommodation they're getting for their money."

But the Scots (and the Welsh, for that matter), have always said that the English scheme just would not work in their domains, and have proceeded to institute their own new classifications. The AA and RAC are turning up and rating hotels in Scotland and Wales anyway, thereby creating a third tier of grading.

So a single hotel could be awarded two Scots stars, three Scots crowns and four English stars - which adds up to a singularly British interpretation of simplification.

Janet Anderson set about her new job by spending most of August touring the country, seeing the best and worst of domestic tourism. Like her predecessors, the minister is faced with the tricky problem of persuading us to holiday at home when foreign trips are so cheap and easy to arrange.

One of the culprits responsible for the widening gap between domestic and foreign holidays is Airtours, a leading practitioner of low-price, accessible packages. Still, at least the company - which employs a thousand people in its headquarters in Rossendale, Lancashire - must be a source of pride for the local MP. Her name? Janet Anderson.