The News Quiz

1) It's been a good week for ... Why? (See pictures, top right)

a) Zoe Ball

b) The Ridings School in Halifax

c) Catherine Zeta-Jones

d) Sophie Anderton

2) While some were desperate to keep drug scandals at bay, others were more than happy to "fess up". Who admitted: "I'm a drug addict, alcoholic and anorexic?"

a) Ally McBeal

b) Victoria Spencer

c) Fergie

3) Meanwhile, who was sacked when they took the wrong "line"?

4) Why did "nobody do it better" for Gerry Adams this week?

5) Who, according to new figures, regularly smoke their first cigarette within half an hour of waking up?

a) supermodels

b) single mothers

c) nurses

d) 11-year-olds

6) Who's the odd one out?

a) General Pinochet

b) Arthur Koestler

c) Geoffrey Boycott

7) Which one of the drinks pictured travelled at high velocity towards a certain journalist after a barbed comment was thrown? (See above.) Who threw a) the insult, and b) the drink?

8) It's been a bad week for... Why?

a) the Bank of England's Eddie George

b) Prince Harry and Prince William?

c) Naomi, Claudia and Christy

d) single mothers

9) What new position has Geri assumed this week?

a) Number 50 in the charts

b) the lotus

c) UN Goodwill Ambassador

d) the missionary

10) How did Jeremy Paxman describe a receptionist after staying at Hintelsham Hall hotel in Suffolk?

a) Miss Stroppy-Madam

b) Miss Can't-Be-Arsed

c) Miss Now-Sod-Off

11) And what was Jeremy Paxman's biggest grievance? That the hotel was:

a) too near to Ipswich

b) too far from London

c) too near to heathens

12) Who impressed us by demonstrating an astonishing talent for figures?

a) school children at The Ridings School, Halifax

b) Rhesus monkeys in an experiment at Columbia University in the US

c) Vivien Duffield

13) Who apologised to that most forgiving of audiences, Sun readers?

a) Richard Bacon

b) Carlos Menem

c) General Pinochet

Answers

1) a) Zoe Ball's breakfast show for Radio 1 has increased its audience since the summer, while immediate rival Chris Evans has lost listeners; b) The Ridings School, Halifax, was taken off the education blacklist after just two years; c) Catherine Zeta Jones has just received the latest Hollywood accolade of "Most Outrageously Beautiful Actress"; d) Gossard model Sophie Anderton became engaged to Robert Hanson, worth an estimated pounds 7m.

2) b) Countess Victoria Spencer, on opening a clinic for young heroin and cocaine addicts.

3) Squeaky clean Blue Peter presenter Richard Baker was sacked over revelations of taking cocaine in a London night club.

4) Carly Simon serenaded the Sinn Fein leader for his 50th birthday in the US.

5) d) 11-year-olds.

6) a) General Pinochet. Unlike Koestler or Boycott, there are no allegations or accusations of violence - this week anyway - towards the women in his life.

7) A glass of red wine. a) Spectator columnist Bruce Anderson; b) Guardian columnist Polly Toynbee.

8) a) Eddie George faces calls to resign after agreeing that thousands of job losses in the North were "an acceptable price to pay" for curbing inflation; b) the Princes could face a second multi-million pound tax bill after a new probe into the real of worth of Diana's estate;

c) the supermodel trio have consultancy deals with Fashion Cafe, which has been placed in the hands of an administrator after making big losses; d) single mothers, after Margaret Thatcher said they should be "placed in the hands of a very good religious organisation".

9) c) UN Goodwill Ambassador.

10) c) Miss Now-Sod-Off.

11) a) Too near Ipswich.

12) b) Rhesus monkeys in an experiment at Columbia University.

13) b) Argentine President Carlos Menem for the Falklands War.