Television review

Yesterday, Good Morning with Anne and Nick (BBC1) was delayed, which meant the viewers had to wait 40 long minutes for "Ainsley's Packing His Pantry". Naturally, one's grateful for any reprieve, but when you watched the reason for this dispensation, live coverage of the signing of the Bosnian peace accord, you had to wonder what kind of charity this was.

The BBC had deployed a regiment: five correspondents, including Kate Adie in Saravejo and Brian Hanrahan in Paris; Tom Carver in the studio to chew the thrice-chewed fat with the newsreader; live footage of men in suits shaking hands and the French tricolour hanging limply. Back in the studio, meanwhile, two men were vainly trying to get the banner of momentousness to flutter in the stagnant air. The truth was that there was nothing to see, and not much to talk about either. This was a timetabled event, meeting its deadline, an occasion without the spark of urgency that might have justified the intimidating display of current affairs firepower.

Perhaps it was intended finally to shut up critics who complain that the BBC news agenda is dictated by the availability of arresting footage. Perhaps they were up in the gallery with their fingers crossed, hoping for a last minute storm-out by President Izetbegovic. But what they got was the null pageantry of state ceremonial, everything that history is not, and the vocabulary couldn't disguise it.

Talk of the deal having being "thrashed out" simply reminded you of the whipping you were watching on your screen. "Tom, all signs are that the horse is dead - are there expectations that the flogging will continue for some time yet?" "Yes, John, it may look as if the Equine Flagellation Force has concluded its useful activity, but seasoned observers know it's never as easy as that. There are a number of parties here and they all want their swipe at the nag, so to speak." "Tom, thank you. Now to Kate Adie in Sarajevo. Kate, what's the mood there?" "Downbeat, John. Sarajevans have learned from bitter experience that cessation of flogging activity rarely lasts for long. They have a saying here, 'The knout doesn't rest till the horse has turned to glue', and I think there's a lot of truth in that."

In Roughnecks (BBC1) everyone is on shore leave, which presents some narrative problems. Rig life offers rather literal opportunities for tension - if you want wire-snapping suspense, how about trying to lift a six-ton container when your boom angle is at 30 degrees? - but dry land calls for different skills: a blur of romance and alcoholic catch-up. Suddenly it's about trying to lift your leg over when the room angle is at 30 degrees.

Last night delivered a veritable force 10 of suppressed, expressed, thwarted and satisfied desire, as virtually every member of the cast crammed months of romance into an hour's span. Of course, if you think about it, this must be pretty much what life is like for offshore oil workers - a certain amount of phone-card foreplay must take place, but consummation and catastrophe have to wait for the helicopter ride back to the mainland.

Archie and Kath were the principal casualties here - shyly getting together, like a yeti and a marmoset trying to work out how they might mate, but then making the fatal mistake of going away for the weekend to a caravan in the Highlands. "It's got lovely sea views," says Kath, trying to fire Archie's enthusiasm. "That'll make a change, then," he replies.

The plotline also suggested the alarming possibility that the Osprey Explorer might be in dry dock next season, a fact which caused people to exchange looks of dark foreboding. This could mean... no third series. Perhaps that was why the episode ended with a karaoke competition - with an eye on the spin-off singing careers of Robson and Jerome from Soldier, Soldier, the producers had kindly arranged for a built-in audition session.