Poetic Licence: The Vicar Recruitment Rap

Martin Newell
Wednesday 14 July 1999 18:02 EDT
Comments

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

The Church Of Scientology is launching Britain's first national TV campaign promoting a religion. Not to be outdone, the Church of England has picked a 38-year-old female vicar to front their own pounds 20,000 campaign to recruit more young people to the priesthood.

Bap-chik Baba-baba-chick

C of E its the one for me

We're talkin' 3 (feat. Trini-T.)

Your mobile soul-phone

Comes for free.

It's a Friends and Family to...

Big G.

Gimme a V. Now gimme an I.

Add a CAR to the other side

Heaven's gate is a Park `n' Ride

Who d'ya call

when your granny's died?

Vicar.

Say that name with pride

Service time and the bells go clang

It's a happenin' clappenin' kinda thang

From a warm-up prayer in the vestibule

To a chilled out church

And an ambient Yule

Though the Sno B. Deep.

And the wind B. Krool

The smell of Faith is a cool Kagoul

V. for vespers. I for an Eye.

The sermon's hot.

But the ink ain't dry

For those in peril on the C

You who would A (pilgrim be)

No R&R on the Sabbath Day

Can the dude deliver?

YES WAY!

More E vicar? Not for me

X-cept E-clesiastically

When the work comes in

Gotta make that call

"Yo! Corinthians!

Quit it." Paul.

(p.p. Father, Son

and Ghost)

The Devil's illin'

But he's toast.

Vicar. As God as it gets.

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in