Poetic Licence: England's Other Navy
The great summer tradition of lone sailors putting to sea and balloonists taking to the air, then needing to be rescued at the public's expense, is upon us again
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Your support makes all the difference.In England's Other Navy
Lost mariners of August
In boats built like allotment sheds
Set off from ports in Hants.
Their sails stitched together
From several pairs of pants
These single-handed sailors
Are frequently ex-forces
Presumably Surrealist Corps
Adept at flying goats
But absolutely useless
In ocean-going boats
They're pulled out of the briny
By weary Air Sea Rescue
Who having heard their Mayday call
Must mount an operation
Familiar with the sounds of
Creative navigation
When rescued, dehydrated,
Or nibbled at by sharks
And suffering from exposure
They still express elation
And wanly wave from stretchers
As paid for by the nation
They're England's Other Navy
Triumphant upside-down
Since radar's not essential yet
For coracle or raft
They sail around in circles
Armada of the daft
But England's Other Air Force
Is not to be outdone:
As diplomats asked every week
To bail out some buffoon
Write: "Dear Mr Gaddafi,
May we have our balloon?"
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