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Liam Payne says he struggled with ‘severe’ suicidal thoughts and addiction at height of One Direction fame

Singer described seeing photos of his “booze-and-pills face” in the press

Isobel Lewis
Tuesday 08 June 2021 07:50 EDT
Liam Payne recalls One Direction throwing plates out of hotel windows in rowdy early days

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Liam Payne has opened up about struggling with “severe” suicidal thoughts and addiction while at the height of his fame with One Direction.

The British singer performed with The X Factor boyband from 2010 to 2015, when the group went their separate ways.

Appearing on The Diary of a CEO podcast, Payne told host Steven Bartlett that he’d suffered with mental health problems and addiction at the height of the band’s fame.

Asked if he’d ever had “moments of suicidal ideation”, the singer admitted: “Yeah. There is some stuff that I’ve definitely never spoken about to do with it. It was really, really, really severe. It was a problem.”

Payne admitted that he’d only decided to change things with his alcohol and drug addiction after seeing photos of himself in the press.

“’There were a few pictures of me on a boat and I was all bloated out and I call it my pills-and-booze face,” Payne said, describing how his face had looked “10 times bigger” than it currently did.

"In the band... the best way to secure us, because of how big we’d got, was just to lock us in our rooms. What’s in the room? A mini-bar. So at a certain point I thought, I’m just going to have a party-for-one and that seemed to carry on for many years of my life... It was wild but it was the only way you could get frustration out.”

Elsewhere in the interview, Payne revealed that he had split from fiancee Maya Henry.

The pair had been dating since 2019 and announced their engagement last August, with the singer admitting that he was “not very good at relationships”.

“I feel like, more than anything at this point, I’m more disappointed in myself [that] I keep on hurting people. That annoys me.”

If you are experiencing feelings of distress and isolation, or are struggling to cope, Samaritans offers support. You can speak to someone in confidence over the phone on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit the Samaritans website here.

If you or someone you know is suffering from alcohol addiction, you can confidentially call the national alcohol helpline Drinkline on 0300 123 1110 or visit the NHS website here for information about the programmes available to you.

If you or someone you know is suffering from drug addiction, you can seek confidential help and support 24-7 from Frank, by calling 0300 123 6600, texting 82111, sending an email or visiting their website here.

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