Music: Lyric Sheets
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Your support makes all the difference.Ozzy Osbourne, 50 this week, has taken up gardening. The problem is that he gardens at night. This has annoyed his neighbours, who object to the 17 four-metre-high lights which he has erected in his garden
Ozzy Osbourne's Garden
The moon's a stalag searchlight
The sky's an orange glow
The lawn's lit up by lasers
Like a Sabbath stadium show
By a listed Queen Anne building
Near a former Quaker hall
A tattooed man is digging
Beside a garden wall...
And as the cheery rocker
Totes shotgun through his grounds
Some badgers run for cover
He looses off two rounds
A bat caught in the crossfire
Falls lifeless from a tree
The singer's patient missus
Shouts "Oz, d'you want yer tea?"
The heavy metal rose-grower
Finds secateurs no good
And much prefers a chainsaw
When pruning out dead wood.
Though sprays can be effective
For blackfly, Ozzy's learned
That cherry-bombs work better
Where cherries are concerned
A rock god takes up gardening
Two different worlds collide
The neighbours' dogs won't settle
The cats are terrified
The king of heavy metal
Is getting into stride.
A drum of Agent Orange
And flamethrower by his side
...Happy birthday, Ozzy
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