Lyric Sheets
Labour's New Deal For Musicians Versus What Your Nan Says
Your support helps us to tell the story
From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.
At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.
The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.
Your support makes all the difference.The Government's New Deal For Musicians was launched by Tessa Jowell last week. The scheme will allow 18- to 24-year-olds to claim benefits while building a pop career.
You'll get pounds 51 per week and a pounds 15 bonus for
band funds.
Look I'll lend you a tenner but you must
stop pinching my fags.
Ministers have been made aware over the years
that pop music is one of our biggest exports.
Keep your music as a hobby. Learn a trade.
Then you'll always have something to fall back on.
...and we will actively encourage you to access
all opportunities in other media sectors.
Why don't you go on 'Stars in Their Eyes?'
So the Government will be issuing you with
the terms of eligibility for these benefits.
I don't mind you having long hair Liam -
Providing it's tidy... like Englebert's
...though naturally, a smart presentation
is always looked upon favourably.
So I've made you all these nice waistcoats
We're only too well aware of certain ah... pitfalls.
I hope you don't know anyone who takes drugs
Julian. Julian??
The PM himself used to play in a band of course
Your dad had very long hair at one time. Now...
what was his band called? Oh yes. Moody Purple.
...to correct all the damage done by the last
Government to young people's self-esteem.
Why do you all look so moody in photographs
and sing about death the whole time?
And certain industry experts will be on hand
in order to help you hone your skills.
Government help? I hope they haven't got that
John Prescott roadying for you, ha ha.
I expect we'll be seeing you on Top of the Pops.
I expect we'll be seeing you on Top of the Pops.
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies
Comments