Letter: Peaceful bedtime

Rebecca Ng
Sunday 21 March 1999 19:02 EST
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Sir: I did a parenting course, Systematic Training for Effective Parenting, about a year ago. I too used to have a stressful time putting my children to bed ("But I'm not tired", 15 March). The facilitator encouraged me to try a new approach, which I was sceptical about initially.

I asked my children what time they would like to go to bed. They suggested one o'clock in the morning. The understanding was that they would put themselves to bed whenever they wished, but that they must get up in the morning by a specified time.

On the first night they went to bed ridiculously late but, as agreed, were up at 7am.

My very tired 10-year-old son said: "I think in future I will go to bed at 9.30 on schooldays, and allow myself a late night on Fridays and Saturdays." He had fixed a bedtime only half an hour later than the bedtime I had stressed myself out to achieve. His elder sister (then aged 12) followed suit.

REBECCA NG

London W6

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