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The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 trailer has ruined Run-D.M.C. for everyone

First they came for the turtles, now for "It's Tricky". 

Clarisse Loughrey
Thursday 10 December 2015 05:35 EST
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The first trailer for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 has been released, and it's exactly as you would expect it to be.


First off, essential points for Turtles fans. We're getting the first appearance from Bebop and Rocksteady here, the pig/rhino duo who served as Shredder's henchmen in the original series, though this sequel does appear to trace their origins back as humans-turned-mutant-animals. Also joining in from the Turtle universe are hockey mask-wearing vigilante Casey Jones (played by Arrow's Stephen Amell) and mad scientist Baxter Stockman (Tyler Perry).

Look, nobody's asking for a gritty take on the heroes in a half shell; but there's a gaping void between keeping things light and creating two minutes of blaring noise, colours, and explosions. Oh, and Megan Fox tying her shirt up to show the audience her ultra flat-stomach; because that's apparently way more important that suggesting the female lead might have any purpose or drive or active part in anything outside of looking cute and flirting with boys. 

This is a CGI nightmare rolling out over the sounds of a dubstep remix suffocating the last traces of life out of Run-D.M.C.'s "It's Tricky". And, really, as much as Bepop might think, "y'all got jokes, huh?"; it's fairly arguable here that y'all have precisely zero jokes outside of the fact they somehow got Laura Linney to sign up to this project. 

The film's official title is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows. An oddly grim title for a film in which a pig has a purple mohawk, but it's not like anything was ever going to beat The Secret of the Ooze as a title, anyways. 

The sequel is set for cinematic release on 3 June 2016.

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