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Star Wars 'Bigger Luke' fan theory is so insane it's a kind of poetry

Is this a parody? Because it's super hard to tell with the internet these days

Clarisse Loughrey
Friday 08 January 2016 06:21 EST
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The fan theory is such a particular art. A true practitioner must aim for the grandiose, the subversive and unpredictable; without becoming overreaching.

We applaud the detailed, the oddly convincing: from Pixar's single universe theory to the claim Jar Jar Binks is the real Sith Lord of the Star Wars prequels. And then, the theories so dumb they make us question whether we've somehow evolved out of critical thinking; the idea Sandy dies at the beginning of Grease or that time people thought Luke Skywalker was somehow going to turn out to be Kylo Ren. You know, even though they'd cast another actor in the role. 

But this; this is the true pièce de résistance of Star Wars fan theories. The 'Bigger Luke' theory
 


Essentially, the theory boils down to the belief that there exists two Lukes: Bigger Luke and Luke Prime, both appearing in certain scenes throughout the Star Wars Trilogy. The writer states Luke's height should largely be judged against Han Solo's, discouraging the use of NHP's, or "No Han Pics". Oh yeah, there's lots of abbreviation here. And plenty of diagrams. 
 

Prime (or regular) Luke. Ignore the fact he's clearly bending over here. Ignoring this obvious fact is the only way this theory works.
Prime (or regular) Luke. Ignore the fact he's clearly bending over here. Ignoring this obvious fact is the only way this theory works.
Bigger Luke. There is apparently a size discrepancy between the photos. Apparently.
Bigger Luke. There is apparently a size discrepancy between the photos. Apparently.

Instead of explaining such discrepancies with wild ideas like perspective or posture; this website exhaustively details several explanations for the double Lukes. Some are in-universe: that Bigger Luke is an illusion created by Obi-wan to frighten stormtroopers, a clone, or simply Luke's sensitivity to the force affecting his height. As the force is wont to do, you know.

The other explanation suggests a slightly taller doppelgänger was utilised during filming as a double, especially to cover for Hamill as he recovered from the car accident he was involved in near the tail end of filming A New Hope. The theory also makes reference to supposedly significant lines, "You've taken your first step into a larger world" and "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?".

OK, so we're 99% sure this is a parody; but what a beautifully constructed parody it is. One so pitch-perfect in its take on the obsessive theorising and piling of inconsequential evidence in the face of entirely mundane explanations, that it's entirely possible to think someone, out there in the wilds of the internet, might just believe this to be true. Come on, we do live in a universe where people genuinely think Beyoncé is secretly controlling all of global politics.

The real question is, though, why aren't we discussing a Bigger Han theory?

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