Oscars 2022: All the best jokes from this year’s Academy Awards ceremony
‘For those of you watching from Florida, we’re going to have a gay night,’ said co-host Wanda Skyes
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Your support makes all the difference.The Oscars are underway! The Academy Awards, now in their 94th year, return to the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles.
After three years without a host, the Oscars enlisted Amy Schumer, Wanda Skyes and Regina Hall to front the ceremony this year. And with these three incredibly funny women at the helm, the Oscars opened with raucous laughter, gasps, and a couple of side-eyes on Sunday 27 March.
After the ceremony opened with Beyonce’s performance of “Be Alive”, DJ Khaled introduced the co-hosts Schumer, Sykes, and Hall who began their time on-stage with witty quips, low-blows and pointed political comedy.
Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriends, the Golden Globes, the runtime of The Power of the Dog, and Hollywood’s problem with diversity – nothing was off limits for the three comedians on Oscars night.
Below is a list of the evening’s best jokes:
“This year the Academy hired three women to host, because it’s cheaper than one man.” Amy Schumer
“We’re going to have a great night. And for those of you watching in Florida, we’re going to have a gay night. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gayyy...” Wanda Skyes
“I’m really surprised Space Jam 2 didn’t get an Oscar for that hairline they gave LeBron James.” Regina Hall
“There were a lot of snubs this year. Rachel Zegler for West Side Story. Jennifer Lawrence for Don’t Look Up. And Lady Gaga and Jared Leto for House of Random Accents.” Wanda Skyes
“And the Oscar goes to... Nominated three times, and this is the most words I ever spoke... Presenting is where it’s at.” Woody Harrelson
“I’m Amy Schumer or as they know me in Hollywood, ‘Melissa McCarthy said no’.” Amy Schumer
“After years of Hollywood ignoring women’s stories, we finally got a movie about the Williams sisters’... dad.” Amy Schumer
“Leonardo DiCaprio... he’s done so much to fight climate change and leave behind a cleaner, greener planet for his girlfriends. Because they’re so much younger... yeah, you get it.” Amy Schumer
“And the Oscar goes to... Nominated three times and that’s the most I ever got to spoke. Presenting is where it’s at.” Woody Harrelson
“Aaron Sorkin, it’s brilliant. How do you make a movie about one of the most iconic women in comedy and have it not be funny? It’s like making a biopic about Michael Jordan and just showing the bus rides between games.” Amy Schumer on Being The Ricardos and Nicole Kidman’s portrayal of Lucille Ball.
“Oh, Harvey Weinstein!” joked Sykes, during a pre-recorded segment about the recently-opened Academy Museum of Motion Pictures in Los Angeles, when she came face to face with a mask of one of the orcs who appeared in Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings movies.
“Will Smith, you’re married but, you know, you’re on the list and looks like Jada approved you, so get on up here!” Regina Hall delivered the “punchline” of her “surprise Covid tests” skit about Hollywood’s desirable men, after inviting actors Bradley Cooper, Tyler Perry, Timothee Chalamet, Simu Liu, and Jacob Elordi to join her backstage.
“Growing up in Australia, I never thought I’d be on this stage.” “I never thought I would be here six days ago. Dreams really can come true... pretty fast too.” Jacob Elordi and Rachel Zegler
“Now, I’ve got the screener for a never-before-seen film... not even by the director. The Last Duel.” Regina Hall
“We’ve got something for you, Dame Judi Dench, because you didn’t win tonight. We’ve got an inspirational quote from Kim Kardashian: ‘Work harder’.” Wanda Sykes
“You know who has it the hardest tonight? Javier Bardem and his wife Penelope Cruz are both nominated. If she doesn’t win, he can’t win. He is praying that Will Smith wins!” Chris Rock
You can follow along with our Oscars 2022 live blog here.
Click here for a list of the winners, updated live as the ceremony progresses.
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