Stay up to date with notifications from The Independent

Notifications can be managed in browser preferences.

‘I love your “-ism”’: Inside the new film about life’s beautiful differences

New film revolves around parents and children with physical or emotional differences

Dan Byam Shaw
Friday 27 January 2023 06:55 EST
Comments

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

According to writer Andrew Solomon, the key to finding acceptance lies in addressing “the tyranny of everything being expected to be the same”.

Solomon was speaking at a special screening of a documentary inspired by his 2012 non-fiction book, Far from the Tree, at London’s Barbican Centre on Thursday (25 January).

Motivated by his own difficulties coming out as gay to his parents, Solomon decided to examine the experiences of other families in which there are profound differences between parents and their children. “Having always imagined myself in a fairly slim minority,” he writes, “I suddenly saw that I was in a vast company. Difference unites us.”

In the film, which is directed by Rachel Dretzin, we see a range of children who are, in their own ways, different from their parents. One, named Jason, was diagnosed with Down’s syndrome as a baby, with his parents told that he’d never learn to communicate with them – not even to say, “I love you”. In the film we see him now aged 41 and enjoying a loving relationship with his mother. Even if she sometimes struggles with his obsession with Disney’s Frozen.

We also meet Leah and Joe, a couple who have different forms of dwarfism. Far from longing for “normality”, however, they embrace each other’s differences. “I love your ‘-ism’,” they tell each other.

One of the film’s key messages is that children who’ve grown up “different” have more in common with each other than we might imagine. We see the same joy on 13-year-old Jack’s face when he spends time with his other autistic friends as we do when Loini, 23, attends her first Little People of America convention.

However, in a Q&A session after the screening, Solomon said that he didn’t want to erase important differences or make false claims of equivalence.

“What’s interesting to me is the tension between the ways we’re all the same,” he explained. “The ways that we’re different and the constant interplay between them.”

The screening, which was originally due to be held back in March 2020, was heavily delayed by the pandemic, with Solomon telling the gathered crowd that it was worth the wait.

Far from the Tree will be available to stream in the UK later this year.

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in