Stay up to date with notifications from The Independent

Notifications can be managed in browser preferences.

Bruce Willis Roast: 11 best putdowns courtesy of Demi Moore, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and more

'I look at our marriage like The Sixth Sense - you were dead the whole time'

Jacob Stolworthy
Monday 16 July 2018 05:23 EDT
Comments
The Roast of Bruce Willis trailer

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

Bruce Willis got the Roast treatment from Comedy Central this weekend with numerous celebrities from the Die Hard star's past - including ex-wife Demi Moore - taking the microphone to throw a few putdowns his way.

The actor's Looper co-star Joseph Gordon-Levitt led the evening which saw participation from comedians Nikki Glaser and Jeff Ross as well as Moonlighting's Cybill Shepherd.

These figures tore into the actor as his daughters Rumer, Tallulah and Scout, as well as new wife Emma Henning, watched on in hysterics.

Below is a selection of the best putdowns dealt out to Willis during the Comedy Central special.

“Bruce Willis is what you get if you isolate the white part of Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson” - Joseph Gordon-Levitt

“I look at our marriage like The Sixth Sense - you were dead the whole time" - Demi Moore

“Bruce, we're going to have a good time tonight, but don't get too comfortable because later we're going to be replacing you with Ashton Kutcher” - Joseph Gordon-Levitt

“Hollywood wouldn’t be Hollywood if they didn’t reward a man for ageing into mediocrity” - Cybill Shepherd.

“I was married to Bruce Willis for the first three Die Hard movies, which makes sense because the last two sucked” - Demi Moore

“I met Rumer. I guess that’s the name you give when you’re not 100 percent sure who the dad is” - Ross

“Our daughters are incredibly well-adjusted, considering two of them are half Bruce Willis” - Demi Moore

“People wondered why our marriage came to an end. I think it's because some jealousy started to creep in... Bruce never got over the fact that I rocked the bald look better than he did”- Demi Moore

“Bruce can play anyone from an a**hole cop to an a**hole ex-cop” - Joseph Gordon-Levitt

“I can’t wait to see your next project, Die Hard 6: Natural Causes” - Ross

Willis, in good spirit, graced the staged at the end, reserving his own biggest putdown for Gordon-Levitt, quipping: “Joseph played a younger me in Looper. He couldn’t pull it off. There is one actor who successfully played me. It was Demi Moore.”

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in