The best bad lines by good poets: From Lord Byron to Alfred Tennyson
'And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn' - John Keats
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Your support makes all the difference.Suggested by Daniel Hannan, because he so enjoyed my Top 10 worst lyrics of all time, one of my earliest Top 10s. 'Are we human or are we dancer?' by the Killers, for example, has been matched in awfulness by venerated poets of the written word…
1. 'And greatly venerate our recent glories/ And wish they were not owing to the Tories'
Lord Byron, "Beppo: A Venetian Story", 1817. "The whole work is very bad," says Hannan.
2. 'And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn'
John Keats, "To Autumn", 1819. That is, sheep, as Mike Higgins points out.
3. 'I've measured it from side to side:/'Tis three feet long, and two feet wide'
William Wordsworth, "The Thorn", 1789. From Hannan again. (Wordsworth thought so, too, and rewrote the couplet later.)
4. 'He who kisses the joy as it flies/Lives in eternity's sun rise'
William Blake, "Eternity", c.1793. Mocked by Miranda Green.
5. 'So, thanks to all at once and to each one/Whom we invite to see us crown'd at Scone'
Roger White dares to include Shakespeare's banal final couplet of Macbeth.
6. 'Forgive my transports on a theme like this/I cannot bear a French metropolis'
Samuel Johnson, "London", 1738. Roger White can bear it less.
7. 'And to hear how the past is past and the future neuter'
Philip Larkin, "If, My Darling", 1950. "Manages to sound limp and silly at the same time," says Russell Hargrave.
8. 'Is the night chilly and dark?/The night is chilly, but not dark'
Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "Christabel", 1800. "After too much, or not enough, opium," thinks William Frisby.
9. 'I am Bog-Face'
Stevie Smith, "Bog-Face", 1975. "Hilarious at 15. Sounds a bit pathetic at 51," reckons Tony McCabe.
10. 'I cannot meet them here, for my ships are out of gear/And half my men are sick. I must fly, but follow quick'
Alfred Tennyson, "The Revenge", 1878. A final sign-off from Daniel Hannan.
Next week: Unbuilt buildings (planned but never finished)
Coming soon: Different songs with the same title (such as 'Dagenham Dave' by the Stranglers and Morrissey). Send your suggestions, and ideas for future Top 10s, to top10@independent.co.uk
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