The Saturday Miscellany: How to skive off work; Arsenal's mascot Gunnersaurus; Isaac Julien's bookshelf
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Your support makes all the difference.How to: Skive off work
By Oscar Quine
As the party season looms, it's important to have your skiving skills honed. Tom Hodgkinson, editor of 'The Idler', says duvet days are easy if you know how.
"Before the Reformation, you were not allowed to work from Christmas Day to the Feast of the Epiphany on 6 January. Take the full 12 days off work and use the excuse that you are a 'pre-Reformation Christian'."
'Tis the time of year for the top-drawer excuses, says Hodgkinson. "The best excuse I ever heard for bunking off was: 'problems at home'. Only the exceptionally hard-hearted could take issue with this."
And if there is absolutely no way to get out of work, make sure to maximise on in-office idling time. "Push that lunch break. Just five minutes either side of the hour, which will go unnoticed, gives you a full 10 minutes of extra loafing time."
Rotating column: On Gunnersaurus
By Jack Pitt-Brooke
As football clubs grow from Saturday afternoon adversaries into competing giants of global entertainment, into real rivals of Apple and Disney, it is only natural that they should each need their own Mickey Mouse.
Not just a fictional marketable figurehead – football provides its own legends – but an adult man in a hot oversized costume, paid in waves per minute. At the vanguard of this, the industry leader is Arsenal's mascot Gunnersaurus.
A slimmer, greener 'Barney the Dinosaur', always wearing the latest home shirt, Gunnersaurus is stitched into the fabric of the club. Like a veteran kit man or tea lady, he greets the players as they arrive at games. He has even joined the players for a pre-match minute's silence. Football, after all, is supposed to be fun.
Instant ethics
By Ellen E Jones
Q. People keep laughing at my hi-tech cycling paraphernalia. Should I give in to their merciless abuse and change my look?
A. Don't go changing – this is an opportunity for you to practise the useful art of not giving a toss. But don't kid yourself either; you undoubtedly do look a right tit.
@MsEllenEJones
Micro extract: No bromance
'The sweetness of Barack and Bill's second date didn't spark a flaming romance, however. Obama found hanging out with Clinton wearing, at times exasperating.'
From ‘Double Down ’ by Mark Halperin and John Heilemann (WH Allen, £20)
Four play: Actors cut from Terrence Malick* films
1. Rachel Weisz, To The Wonder
2. Mickey Rourke, The Thin Red Line
3. Michael Sheen, To The Wonder
4. Bill Pullman, The Thin Red Line
* Born today in 1943
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