A Family Affair: Love in a war zone

Emma McCune lived an extraordinary, short and romantic life. Raised in Yorkshire, she died in Africa in 1993, aged 29. There, she had become a star after marrying Riek Machar, a leader of the Sudanese People's Liberation Army. Emma's mother Maggie McCune, 57, lives in Surrey and next month publishes Till the Sun Grows Cold, the story of her daughter's life. Johnny McCune, 28, Emma's brother, is a producer with GMTV. He was in Africa when his sister died.

Maggie

I was working in a City bank when Emma called from Nairobi. "Hi, Mum," she said. "I've got some news." I asked her if it was good or bad. "Good for me," she said, "but I'm not so sure for you." Then she said: "I'm married." "Oh," I said. "Who to?"

She had married a Sudanese. Naturally I gathered myself and did the normal thing, wishing them both lots of happiness. But, like any mother, I was shocked to hear suddenly that she was married. And it was a surprise to hear it was a Sudanese. It was only later that I heard it was polygamous. Riek had a wife and three children in England. Then a friend of hers, who had met Riek, said he was an SPLA leader. I thought, "Oh my God, we are going even deeper. How am I going to tell my relatives and friends?" I remember thinking I would have to let the news out "drip, drip", with one person at a time.

Emma's great friend, Willy, said she had "African madness" and had become completely soaked in the culture. He joked that I wasn't to worry, he would pick up her bridal wealth - about 20 cows which should have come to me.

Fortunately, I trusted Emma's judgement and supported her. She was so grateful, in an unspoken way. And, when I eventually met Riek, I could see why Emma was attracted to him. He was tall, good looking, very charming, focused and articulate. His hands always attracted me. Emma had beautiful hands.

Riek says it was love at first sight. Emma had been working as a programme co-ordinator in southern Sudan for an aid agency. But it was some time before they met again. A lot of her endeavours to see him were blocked by Riek's people. They did not want a white woman having a courtship with their leader. It was a war zone. She was operating in an area where bombs were dropping, where MiGs were flying overhead. Since she died, I have discovered that when it rained everything turned into mud, mud, mud.

She made such a big impact even before she met Riek. Here was this white woman prepared to go to this God-forsaken terrain, where there were land- mines. Sometimes it was as though she had two lives. Her friends in Kenya would say, "Oh, you're going off to take supper with Emma's brigands." Even they did not know all she did for the women and the children who have suffered so much in this terrible war.

When she died I had no idea of the effect she had had on the Sudanese, the magnitude of what she had done. At her funeral, the cathedral was packed. Even Riek's opposition attended. It really hit you hard. What had this girl done?

I remember getting the call about the car accident. The phone rang at 5.27am and Emma's brother Johnny was on the other end. He said: "Mum, there's been an accident."

You do that terrible primal scream. You don't believe it. Emma's Land Cruiser had been hit by a bus and she had been thrown into a hedge. There was some delay. She kept saying "SPLA" and "My baby, my baby". She was pregnant, but people nearby started looking for a live baby. Anyway, they got her to hospital, but she died before she was admitted.

You never get over your own child's death. But I'm probably coming to terms with it. To write the book, I had to dig into myself to reach Emma. In a strange way, her death liberated me from a nine-to-five existence, to be creative. Her death also liberated my emotions about her father's death. He killed himself and all my feelings had been pent up.

But I don't think I ever felt angry. Emma was completely happy when she died, which was wonderful. It was those left behind who felt the sadness. She went off on a crest.

Johnny

Emma was the eldest and I am the youngest of the four children. She was always very adventurous, wild and wacky, both in what she was reading and the way she dressed. As a big sister, she was good to me. My other sisters, because they were closer in age, would leave me behind. But Emma would say, "Johnny, come and join me in the pub."

It was great to have a sister who was so high profile. The experiences she went through were always fascinating to hear about. She was a terrific letter writer and great fun to have around a dinner table. She was very good looking - heads would turn when she came into the room. I happened to be part of that life. But one of the things I said to her was "I'm only known as Emma McCune's brother. One day, you are going to be known as Johnny McCune's sister." She laughed at that.

I happened to be on holiday in Africa when she died. I had helped her move into her house in Nairobi. It was the first time in her life that she had properly put down roots. We were taking the piss, saying, "You're turning into Mum." She was telling us to smoke outside during the day and when we got up from the sofa, she would be plumping up the cushions, whereas in the past she would have been draped all over them. She was really nesting. I'm glad I saw her at her happiest time. That day, I was staying at friends', with my sister Jenny. The phone rang very early and our host walked across to us. He said, "Emma's dead." It was very odd, because Jenny and I were together when we were told my father had died.

I had to do the worst thing in my life and make the phone call to my mother to tell her that her daughter had died. I was 23 at the time, in a city where I did not know anybody well. Everyone was asking questions about what should be done about the body. I went very foetal. I told them to wait until Mum came and everything would be sorted out.

She was buried in Leer, Riek's village in southern Sudan. I was gobsmacked when we arrived. There were literally thousands of people surrounding the plane. The throng was frightening. There was this huge amount of love for this woman they had taken on as mother of the country.

Emma's death has changed me. Now I would seize every opportunity that comes my way. My attitude to life is different because I think it can all be destroyed. Out of six in our family, two have died unnatural deaths. I have become more feisty. Now I'll have a go at anything. I'm not emulating Emma, but I think I'm more like her. I like to think people enjoy being around me.

You never get over a death. You learn to live with it. Not a day goes by but I think of her. It's that feeling you get when you drive over a hump-backed bridge. It is terribly sad that she has died, but we have to carry on with our lives.